The trees of the field

A Pastor's wife once told me a story about 'overprotecting' our kids. She tells...

Young children are like tree saplings. You don't leave these saplings to fend for itself in the forest, against the forces of nature, the wind and rain. They are simply too weak and defenseless. Instead you care for them in little green-houses, in nursery. Watching over them with care and tenderness. You feed them daily with good nutrients, you water them and make sure bugs don't get at them. You want them healthy! The time will come when they have developed strong branches and sturdy trunks. These healthy saplings are now healthy young trees. This is when you plant them out, for they are now able to stand on their own, against the wind and rain of the vast open land. They will not just survive but will thrive and flourish.

Our precious children are just the same. Help them thrive. Be deliberate about how you bring them up. If you leave them to chance, its like you leaving your children in the wilderness to fend for themselves. They will only just survive. They will never flourish. Go, help them thrive.

I never forget this story. It hits home for me, because having parents who are sawit planters, I know, how crucial the nursery is to their sawit seedlings. How they would walk through the nursery everyday, looking at each plant, making sure they are well fed, well watered, bugfree and healthy. They would never simply plant a sawit seedling straight out on the terraces; not until the seedlings have have shown strong and healthy growth - to optimise their productivity and yield!

These are just sawit; what more our babies?

Ballets and all

Today I finally got off my very heavy derrier, taking the initiative to take the car out of our driveway to actually take the kids somewhere.

I took them to visit nearby playschool. While J & M played, the principal and I chatted about teaching kids and bringing them up, amongst other things. Other things, being the issue of homeschooling! As a teacher with many years experience, specialing in early childhood development, she firmly believes kids learn best from each other in a school environment. Socialising with the good and bad peers is crucial in the process of learning, she says. Also a great chance for J & M to learn about their Asian culture and language, which is currently, completely foreign to them. I completely and wholeheartedly agree with this. There isn't a flaw in that arguement, what's so ever. Is there?

HOWEVER, the first problem I find with schools in this country in general, is not so much the negative influences of their peers so prevalent now but ironically, with the teachers. Specifically primary school teachers! I truly believe, gone are the days of dedicated teachers teaching our schools. When teachers were respected in society and their influence over their students were unmatched. When teachers became teachers because they felt gifted to be. When teachers became teachers, not for the money, but the nobility of the profession. Now all you hear from other moms are teachers who are horrible at their work and worst yet, to their unsuspecting charges. Moms grieve over why their child was hit by a teacher, pinch and smacked across the head by a teacher, screamed at by a teacher and to this, none of these children understood WHY.

Do they hate their job so much finding it such a chore to be guiding and forming the minds of our little impressionables in their classrooms? They especially resent children who are not of the norm; if the child is a little academically challenged or extremely gifted and too advanced. To have children like this in their charge requires extra effort, patience and a little thinking outside the square to cater to their needs. As result, they are seen and labeled as 'trouble' and I am pretty sure teachers would make it known to that child every schoolday! If Moms don't intervene, these kids grow up thinking they are 'trouble' and some, truly fulfill that prophesy.

Teachers are the problem. I know this first hand.

Yet, from all my growing up years in highschool, the teachers I had were truly amazing; most of them at least. My primary school teachers were as atrocious as the types I come to know about now! My teachers in the US were amazing and I will forever remember them, for they taught me the love of literature and reading. So I know good teachers when I come across them. And I have.

The second problem, with the schools here in general is....our system of education; learning by rote and memory. Kids are primed to be exam-passers. Passing exams are easy if you have the innate ability to retain and recall information you are expected to remember/study. More often than not, being smart had nothing to do with any thinking process or understanding an information but rather the art of regurgitating the required answers at exams. While this can produce excellent academic results (especially to the midnight candle burning kids!) by this country's standard, it falters and lags far behind the developed countries. These kids get to universities overseas and struggle! They realise they HAVE to think beyond what they learn and are allowed to be creative in their thoughts. They are obliged to give differing opinions and its OK to disagree with your lecturers on any issue. It is not construed as disrespectful!

Developed countries encourage the independent thinking process in children, even very young children. They are encouraged to respectfully speak up and express their opinions or feelings, They are taught at a very young age civic consciousness and the importance of respecting others and self, that includes the general law of the land. (Driving around town, I've come to despise with a passion the way asians profess to be a society so respectful and courteous but are s#*t about following simple road rules!). I find asian kids do as they are told but their hearts, rebel! Brings me back to the point of regurgitating required information without it going through the process of understanding.

Why would I allow my children to learn these habits?

Someone said to me once that I should be careful not to overprotect our kids. So I say, to that person, they are kids and so must be protected. Until the time comes for me to let them go, I will protect them. By then, hope to God, that I have taught and equip them well enough to face the real world on their own feet. I hope they make the best choices for themselves. I hope they make the best choices for others. I hope they remain faithful children of God. So I gladly overprotect them now.

Be it wise or unwise, I only know I must do something. Anything. So I homeschool them. And of course, pick and choose traits of the Asian culture I desire for my children.I want them understanding mind and heart why some values are classified as principles, while others are mere priviledge (That's another potential blog entry altogether)

Letting go

Saturday just passed was J's first sparring competition.

I struggled letting him go but he wanted so much to be part of the competition.Obviously, I knew very well he wasn't ready - he had only been sparring in training for 2 months. His instructor encouraged him to try. So I allowed him. He trained for 2 weeks and I knew very well that this competition would only meant experience for him.

The day came when I had to let my baby go for his first fight. My son had no chance to pull out his gimmicks. He was too stunned and too frustrated. His challenger was way too fast for him. As he started to cry, after being cornered and winded a little, I summoned everything I had within me to refrain from crying with him and jumping into the ring to save my baby boy. He did manage some feeble punches and kicks but it was over too soon (thank god) and my son lost. His challenger didn't hurt him in anyway, my son's ego was bruised most of all. As he walked over to his instructor, peeling off his head-guard, I could see my baby boy trying to remain so brave and I couldn't be prouder of him than that moment.

This little soul, my 7 year old son, had been brave enough to fight a stranger. Although he lost, I hope he learns that life is like that - you have to be ready to face the uncertainties....being ready then, counts most.

As for me? I really struggled submitting the competition entry form. It was even harder the see, my baby helpless and frustrated. I have learnt to let him fight his own fight and wait ring-side to hug him and tell him how brave he was and how proud I am of him...

The Hills are Alive

My son's school project this term is Puppetry. They are learning everything they can on the subject, ranging from the history of puppetry to making their own puppets in their classes for an Art Fesvital in Term 3.

Today, seeing that my son was not feeling all too well, I kept him home, nourishing him with good doses 0f hugs and kisses, Chicken Soup and a run of (one of) my all-time favourite movie Sound of Music, just for good measure! I figured, after an entire week's rerun of Horton Hears a Who and The Bee Movie, which by the way was fantastically entertaining and well enjoyed, I thought he needed a splash of culture infusion today!

Anyway keeping true to this term's Puppetry theme, I fast forward the movie to the bit where Maria and the children put up a Puppet/Marionette show for Captain Von Trapp, Max and Baroness Schraeder. My son was not as transfixed as I had expected (I was, always a sucker for classics and anything Jane Austen-ish!!) but he was entertained enough to agree to share the puppet show part of the movie with the rest of his class - one of these days.

Now I must add, there was a point in my teenage life where this movie was my weekend staple. Yes, the archaic VHS would get a thorough work-out each Saturday morning! The songs and the singing would always uplift me, the breath taking beauty of the Austrian landscape would captivate me each time. The romance, admittedly, would always make me blush. In short, this classic would move me each time.

Today I introduced this classic to my kids and re-acquainted myself as a mommy to it. Watching the part where Capt. Von Trapp eventually joins his children singing the magically beautiful "The Hills are Alive" for Baroness Schraeder, left me in tears. The Captain's turn of heart at that point, gripped and touched me at a level so foreign than at 16. Today, watching this as a mom, the notion of certain parents witholding affection and attention to their kids struck a different chord with me as a mommy - it made me is very sad.

The movie then proceeded to the Vienna Waltz scene, where Maria and Capt. Von Trapp danced in the courtyard while the children looked on. I told my son that during her highschool life, mommy did a little Sound of Music play/skit, where mommy was Maria and danced that very dance-scene. I experienced yet another rush of memories - memories that once again brought yet another smile to my face and the fondest of feelings ! I still remember to this very day, every dance step, every line! For that brief moment, I was transported into my final year of highschool - rehearsing with the girls, leading them through the play with their lines and dance steps, even fighting off "fans" of our own Captain Von Trapp! She was a certain hit, our Chia Yen - don't know if that's a good thing in an all girls school!!

Yes, I remember our Captain Von Trapp, Pang Chia Yen (wonder if she's on FB...I "found" June Wah, who played the part of Lisle in our little play!), I remember Samantha Wong , our Baroness, Betty Eber our Frederick, Fiona Jipiu our Kurt but unfortunately my good recollection ends there. My memory of who the rest of the "cast" were, are dismally vague, to say the least...sorry, girls.

And then highschool ended. College started and ended. University started and ended. Finally, gone are those carefree and worry-free life that you once thought would last a lifetime. Being THAT educated, you are happy thinking you finally have figured what life is all about and all its answers! You are then brought back to reality! Life's real lessons and learning truly begins. You are suddenly the unsuspecting student to the most prolific and unlikely life-teacher, packaged in the least suspecting form. So small and tiny, yet they rule your entire being. They teach you what it means to give of yourselves in every way. You learn what it means to have your heart live outside of you. You get weary but you become better. You are privy to witness the most innate God given potential unravelling before your eyes everyday. You don't have much for yourself but you are so happy. You learn that life is about the little miracles that happens everyday ,which in your previous life you would have deemed too insignificant to warrant your notice! You have dreams that you put on hold but your are so fulfilled. You truly are growing up, with them! You finally appreciate life!

Yup, memories. Gosh, I do get into episodes of sentimentalily and wheepyness, since being a mom. I think its the understanding that those days are never going to come your way again. It will always be a part of you and who you are, that comes knocking on your heart door every now and then....

PLUS, as I am blogging, the song by Air Supply "Here I Am" is playing on TV. Hows that for reminiscing galore? I love Air-Supply's songs..so 80s!!

(I am seriously thinking of upgrading my 4-disk VCD version to the more current DVD kind. I really should, seeing I have already upgraded my Anne of Green Gables Collection and Pride and Prejudice)

Baking stunt

I love baking and I think I am ok at it, if I may say so myself! Cakes, cupcakes, muffins, pizzas, cheesecakes..I've tried them with notable success - cake decorating included!

Then I thought, Jam Rollettes. Looks quick and easy..not too complicated. I do have very fond memories of baking "bahulu gulung" at school during Home Economics, which btw was 21 years ago!!

The other day, Fast Ed from Better Homes and Garden showed how easy it was to whip one up ..in 15 minutes! So armed with this assurance and my baking tools, I quickly whipped one up this afternoon. I followed the recipe to a T and 15 minutes later, voila, I was done!

That is done for today! Trying to get my Jam Rollette to look like this because mine turned out nothing like it! In fact, I don't think it even turned out right...My son..bless his soul, still paid me a compliment"It's yum, Mom..I don't see what's wrong with this!"

I will try again next time...after I stock my pantry up with more fresh eggs! Anyway, I am a Mom. We are equipped by the Almighty to do all things well!!

Shopping with the Kids

Our food supplies needed replenishing over the weekend but was too unmotivated to do the grocery shopping. Was just one of those days, I suppose - bad weather, cold day, didn't want to wriggle out of my comfy jammies...yeah, you know what I mean.

So today, I had to visit Woolies before evening - else, no dinner, unhappy kids and an even unhappier hubby. After work, I kept Megan from falling asleep in her baby-seat during the car-ride and dragged them to Bullcreek Shopping Centre. Oh goody. Just so happened that Target was having a shoe sale. Quickly ducked in there, grabbed a new pair of school shoes for Joseph and some new jackets for Megan. Out of there in half an hour.

Finally Woolies. Megan didn't want to sit on the trolley anymore, so I said she could walk - closely - by the trolley! Earlier in the car, I had pep-talked them about listening to me at the shops - you know, don't ask for anything, don't touch anything (pretty lame instructions to give kids in a shop, I know!), no shouting, no running - the standard drill..else, it was their bottom's appointment with the wooden spoon. My 3 year old, knows this down-pat.

Anyway, it was good for 5 minutes and then all the pep-talk effort blew up in my face. After much frustration and even more reprimands to not touch anything, I made them put their itchy hands in their pockets. They gladly followed and I was happy...

Until... they decided to "touch" things with their shoulders, knees and head...funny? yes, only kids can come up with such ingenuity! I was not impressed though. The check out chick (she was more of a matured-age chick tho) was amused at my-hands-in-pocket-kids and commented that all moms should follow my lead! aha! $200 worth of groceries later, we were out and comfortably home again. Then my headache started......

Now its Lasagna for dinner....

Body Shapes

i was once a size 6/8, flaunting the 50kg frame..for many many years...

never would i image that my girlish, svelte frame, would cease to exist after kids arrive.

yes, yes, i know - there are those of you who THINK that you still have that girlish body (BUT you DON'T), believe me, moms with girlish bodies are a freak of nature and definitely not intended to be!! Admittedly, there are many moms out there, who definitely look better than me, at the moment.....

i am always disgusted at these breed! they KNOW they look better than the normal breed of mothers. You know, they know it! Yet, they flaunt..yes, FLAUNT their size 30 inch tummy size (mine's close to 50!!) , their so-called flat boobies at 36 inc (mine's close to 25!!) and with all of their false-humilitiness , cry " tis so unfair and too cruel"....

you know they want to be oogled and praise for their "curvy" figures by the other whale-like mom, me in particular!! makes you want to go over and slapped them to eternity and beyond!

then, i look at my kids - my beautiful, confident, smart and healthy kids - who are totally indifferent to my whale-like body (especially my baby girl - who would snuggle up in my fats to keep warm in winter!). Granted, they don't know any better and it makes me think...

"its all worth while, after all.."

plus, unlike many shallow-unappreciative hubbies, mine don't care for my flabs......

or so he says....

hmmmm......

Knit Picking

(Gosh, just realised that i have not touched my albums in weeks..nevermind, i will sit there tomorrow and finish a pack of photos!)

I finished knitting Megan's sweater vest yesterday, and poor abang quipped "Mom, u know that blue sweater you knitted for me 2 years ago? It doesn't fit anymore. Can u knit another one for me?"

Anyway, i picked out a bunch of yarns yesterday from Spotlight and started on HIS sweater vest last night, during Desperate Housewives and Boston Legal. My goal is to finish it in a fortnight. Why? Because my darling hubby also has been requesting a sweater vest for YEARS now.

(Talking about photo albums, bring smiles to my face when I see my kids go through their albums and marvel at how cute they are!! keeps me going with my album/scrapbook project)

Part-Time-Moms

I had an interesting chat over coffee, this morning, with a pest-control company representative. It was a she and we had a nice chat on that ever so delightful subject of motherhood and children. She happens to be a grandmother working part-time at this rep job and also works from the home as junk-mail distribution centre.

Talking to this nice lady, it suddenly dawned on me that part-time working moms are actually very busy multi-tasking creatures, charging through the day on pure adrenalin!! So, nothing is more irksome to me than when someone says.."oh, you're working part-time. gives you something else to do and keeps your brains active"

what?? did you fall of nest when God Almighty was passing out brains? golly, the reason i work part-time is because i have so much to do.....like i would lack "something else to do" and as if being moms are brain-dead jobs! oh get serious and walk in my shoes and then tell me who needs something to do to keep your brains active and then some!

prffff.....

Before I was a Mom - Author Unknown

Before I was a Mom
I slept as late as I wanted and never worried about how late I got into bed.
I brushed my hair and my teeth everyday.

Before I was a Mom
I cleaned my house each day.
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on. Spit on.
Chewed on
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night..


Before I was a Mom
I never held down a screaming child so that doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.
Before I was a Mom
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put it down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache, the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much before I was a Mom.

My babies

get screamed at alot these days. their mommy is morphing into this ugly monster that's out to squelch their daily fun and happiness! perth's scorching summer heat, does not help in anyway, shape or form! everything is distinctively irritating!

yet, i love them to bits. wouldn't trade them for all the gold in the world. it is they who taught me what it means to live beyond myself - to have my heart live outside of me. they taught me that all my successes and achievement in the world, remains inconsequential to the smiles they bring. it is they who awarded me that ever so distinguished title of MOM. i wear that title and carry my medals, those flabby tummy , tuck-shop-lady arms and a now pear-shaped 60kg body, with pride.

i digress...

my princess is everything gorgeous and her vivacity so infectious. she, to the horror of her dad, gets louder and boisterous as the weeks progress! she's a feistly little thing, always trying to out-do her more brother. she's beautiful and oh, so captivating!

my son, never ceases to amaze me. his brilliance and maturity is astounding that i tend to overlook that he's only a 6 year old going on 7 next month! being the smart chap he is, i often expect more from him then, i suspect, any other mother of 6 year olds! he's lovely and disarming prossessing the kindest of hearts.

hence my quandary; how do you mother these kids without turning into a modern day Cruella De Vil. yes, i know the answer - patience, prayer, kindness, more patience, more prayer, gentleness, a little more patience, a little more prayer.....

every morning, i ask for an extra measure of patience from god, to handle my preciousness for the day..but at nights end, feeling absolutely rotten for i have failed, yet again to be patient and kind to them....

i love them though and i know THAT counts.